29 Reasons Why You Should Never Visit Florida

NOTHING TO see here. Except some fabulous pictures and 29 reasons why you SHOULDN’T holiday in Florida.

Oh … hang on …

With grateful thanks to Buzzfeed and VisitFlorida

It’s mainly pictures, so grab a coffee and enjoy!

 

29 Reasons Why You Should Never Visit Florida

Ew.

1. It ALWAYS rains.

It ALWAYS rains.

Michael Libbe / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: michaellibbephotography

Sunset over Indian Rocks Beach, Florida.

2. The entire state is completely DEVOID of culture.

The entire state is completely DEVOID of culture.

Matthew Paulso / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: matthewpaulson

The Tampa Theatre in Tampa, Florida.

3. There’s nothing really unique or interesting to see there.

There's nothing really unique or interesting to see there.

Bill Dickinson / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: skynoir

The Howey Mansion in Winter Haven, Florida.

4. Florida has basically no tradition at all.

Matthew Hoelscher / Creative Commons / Flickr: tiswango

Matthew Hoelscher / Creative Commons / Flickr: tiswango

Members of the Miccosukee tribe perform a dance.

5. Nope, no sense of identity to be found anywhere in Florida.

Nope, no sense of identity to be found anywhere in Florida.

Phillip Pessar / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: southbeachcars

A mural in Miami’s Little Havana neighborhood.

6. No sir, there’s nothing to see or do in the whole state.

No sir, there's nothing to see or do in the whole state.

Bob B. Brown / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: beleaveme

Revelers at the Miami-Broward Carnival.

7. There’s no real sense of history.

There's no real sense of history.

Matthew Paulson / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: matthewpaulson

The nation’s Oldest Wooden Schoolhouse stands in St. Augustine, Florida.

8. Because nothing happened in Florida before, like, 1987.

Because nothing happened in Florida before, like, 1987.

NatalieMaynor / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: nataliemaynor

A bit of history in Amelia Island, Florida.

9. The wildlife there consists of mosquitos and slightly larger mosquitos.

The wildlife there consists of mosquitos and slightly larger mosquitos.

Jay Ebberly / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: jdebberly

Dolphins swimming off the Florida Keys.

10. … Or terrible swamp beasts.

... Or terrible swamp beasts.

Bruce Tuten / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: savannahgrandfather

A purple gallinule in the Florida Everglades.

11. Nope, nothing worth preserving in Florida.

Nope, nothing worth preserving in Florida.

U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Southeast Region via Connie Bransilver / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: usfwssoutheast

A Florida panther sunbathes in a wildlife refuge.

12. UGH, IT’S SO GROSS.

UGH, IT'S SO GROSS.

Mark Vance / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: floridabirds

A roseate spoonbill photographed near Sarasota, Florida

13. YUCK.

YUCK.

U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Southeast Region / via Jim Reid / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: usfwssoutheast

Florida manatees at the Crystal River and Chassahowitzka National Wildlife Refuges.

14. EW.

EW.

MrClean1982 / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: mrclean

A hummingbird at Butterfly World in Coconut Creek, Florida.

15. It’s all just strip malls and tacky gift shops.

It's all just strip malls and tacky gift shops.

Matthew Hoelscher / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: tiswango

Vizcaya mansion and gardens in Miami, Florida.

16. If you’re not a beach person, there’s absolutely NOTHING to do there.

If you're not a beach person, there's absolutely NOTHING to do there.

Lenna Young Andrews / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: creativelenna

The Ringling Museum in Sarasota, Florida.

17. I’m telling you, if you’re looking for art and culture, look elsewhere.

I'm telling you, if you're looking for art and culture, look elsewhere.

Matthew Paulson / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: matthewpaulson

The Dalí Museum in St. Petersburg, Florida.

18. And Miami? Forget it. If you’re not into clubs, there’s nothing for you there.

And Miami? Forget it. If you're not into clubs, there's nothing for you there.

Ines Hegedus-Garcia / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: miamism

The outdoor portion of the Pérez Art Museum Miami (PAMM).

19. Floridians definitely don’t have a sense of humor about themselves.

Floridians definitely don't have a sense of humor about themselves.

Joe Shlabotnik / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: joeshlabotnik

The Southernmost House in Key West, Florida has a bit of competition in the form of The Southernmost Southernmost House in Key West, Florida.

20. “Florida luxury” is an oxymoron.

"Florida luxury" is an oxymoron.

Trey Ratcliff / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: stuckincustoms

Lobby of The Breakers hotel in Palm Beach, Florida.

21. Seriously, Florida has nothing to offer you if you’re looking for anything remotely elegant.

Seriously, Florida has nothing to offer you if you're looking for anything remotely elegant.

Fintrvlr / Creative / Via Flickr: 89545244@N03

Pool at The Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables, Florida.

22. BARF.

BARF.

Timothy Valentine / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: el_ramon

The Venetian Pool in Coral Gables, Florida.

23. How many palm trees can a person stand to look at?

How many palm trees can a person stand to look at?

osseous / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: osseous

Native plants bloom at Fairchild Tropical Gardens in Miami, Florida.

24. Florida is basically all just cheesy beaches full of tourist traps.

Florida is basically all just cheesy beaches full of tourist traps.

Susie Blackmon / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: susieblackmon

Horses in the heart of “Horse Country,” Ocala, Florida.

25. It’s not like anyone cares about surfing.

It's not like anyone cares about surfing.

Kevin N. Murphy / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: knmurphy

Surfing in Cocoa Beach, Florida.

26. No one interesting ever spent time in Florida. Why would they?

No one interesting ever spent time in Florida. Why would they?

Selbe B / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: stacylynn

The Thomas Edison and Henry Ford winter estates in Ft. Myers, Florida.

27. Nope. No one at all.

Nope. No one at all.

Karl Davison / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: pangolinone

The Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum in Key West, Florida.

28. And if you’re looking for family activities, you’d better look literally anywhere else.

And if you're looking for family activities, you'd better look literally anywhere else.

Mark Willard / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: markwdw85

Nightly fireworks at Disney World’s Magic Kingdom in Orlando, Florida.

29. Nope. Nothing to see here at all.

Nope. Nothing to see here at all.

TJ Winston / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: kevin_primeau

Sunset over the sponge docks in Tarpon Springs, Florida.

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